Saturday, April 23, 2005


The losing streak continues.
21 players, no-limit hold 'em, tourney. $50 buy-in.

I was playing pretty well. Up until I went all in with top pair after the flop, hoping to get Debo on my left to fold. Unfortunately my timeing couldn't be worse. He called immediately and flipped over a straight. I was drawing dead, and ended my tournament hopes 6th.

All I can say is. "motherfucker."


I have to find a way to shake the sinking feeling of losing.

I am a terrible loser. Absolutely terrible. Some people can take losing very gracefully. Tney nod their head, shake people's hands, wish everyone luck. Not me. I literally can't control myself. I instantly say either, "Son of a bitch," "Motherfucker," or "Goddammit." This is a totally natural, deep to the core of the being spontaneous reaction, and there is no conscious effort whatsoever. Usually I don't even remember actually making the words with my mouth. I just hear it.

It is so dissappointing to know that I didn't go out on a bad beat. That would've been consolation. I legitimately overplayed my hand. It was a straight-up bad play. (sigh)

This was not cathartic.

Lesson: Don't go all in on a bluff when you are near the bubble.

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