He started whining early. It was still dark outside. The fat-fuck is completely inconsiderate of our needs. Morgan, our 18 lb. fat-monster cat, who literally owes me his life, is keeping me from my well deserved sleep.
"What's your problem? Are you THAT hungry? I KNOW you're not starving to death, you one-eyed freak. Jesus." My GF wants him gone. She's been asking friends and family, "Do any of you want a fat one-eyed-annoying cat?" She's only sort of joking. But, I'm not having it. Morgan is MY-fat-little-buddy (actually it's hers). But since I saved his life, he belongs to me now. He is obligated to use one of his 8 remaining lives on me. He better, or I'll kill him. Because he's been waking us up way too early, and soon instead of pillows, I'll be throwing lamps, or I'll have to bust out the soft-air gun. Pop some caps in his big, striped, round ass. Stick it up your ass PETA.
He's not one-eyed because of me, he and his brother Mystic were adopted as kittens that way. They have no problem finding the food bowl, that's for sure. But if Morgan doesn't shut his mouth, he'll be my NO-eyed-fat-little-buddy.