Poker last night.
I made it to the final three. One of my opponents was quite an interesting dude. When he introduced himself, he immediatley informed us that he has Tourette's Sydrome and that if he has occasional outbursts, not to freak out.
So throughout the evening he'd suddenly scream, "HEEEEYYY....!! FUUUCK!" and "YYOOOOUUU FUUUUUCCCCKKERRRRR!" and convulse. It wasn't a problem, we all talk like fucking truck drivers anyway. Plus, ScottO might as well have Tourette's with his infamous verbal outbursts, so we're used to it. But, it was startling when youd be in the middle of a conversation and someone blurts, "FFUUUCCCKKKEEENNN SHIT! .. HEEEEYY SHIT!" It was hysterical.
"OOOHHHH SSHIIIITT... FUUUUCK!"
Ten players at two tables of five. $20 buy-in. Tables merge after two players get knocked out. I was playing super tight. A couple times I let my opponents off easy by checking the river. But otherwise I was catching some real crap. Meanwhile Luke was accumulating some serious ammo. The party host was the first to get knocked out when his 9 got taken out by ScottO when he made two pair on the river. After a long time, ScottO was the next victim and was out in 9th place.
When the tables merged I was middle stacked with Luke holding a massive chipstack. He was doing his best to bully the table around. Eventually it was down to the final four. Somehow the timekeeper only raised the blinds a couple times, so us little stacks had plenty of playing time to pick our moments. Down to four and this hand comes up:
Luke, under the gun, calls. I get 8-2 in the big blind, check. Everyone else folds. Flop comes QQ2. I bet out. He immediately goes all in.
Dilemma. I know Luke has garbage. He could easily have a Q. But I'm pretty sure he's got shit. Even if he's got shit though, any other pair would beat me. "Fuck it, I know you don't have shit." I call. He flips 8-6o. Turn comes blank. River blank. I double up making me pretty close to even with the big stacks. "Good Call," He says. Soon after, the small stack gets taken out and we're battling on the bubble. Winner takes $140, Runner-up gets $60. So One of us is S.O.L.
I had a chance to take Luke out. He was short stacked. Preflop, I raised with AK on the button, putting him all-in. He calls and flips A-10. He catches a ten on the turn and doubles up through me.
After a long time, I had a great idea. Chop-chop? House says, "No chopping. Thems the rules. ... Unless the house gets his buy-in back. ... $180 three ways to the winners."
We discussed it thoroughly, and finally they said ok." Three winners.
All the while, "Heeeeyy FUck YOU!..."